XXXmas Treats

So this weekend I’m playing relatively vanilla and getting together with some friends for some G-rated, Martha-Stewart-ish activities.

Last year I made these homemade turtles that were seriously good enough to make me cum on the spot (and added at least 10 pounds to my holiday weight gain total). Irregardless, what fun are the holidays if you can’t let loose a little and be naughty? ūüôā

Below, you’ll find the recipe I used for my turtles.


  • 4 tablespoons butter, cut up, plus more for pans
  • 3/4 pound pecan halves (about 3 1/2 cups), toasted
  • 1 cup evaporated milk
  • 1 cup light corn syrup
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 pound¬†semisweet chocolate, chopped
  • 1 tablespoon¬†vegetable shortening¬†(recommended: Crisco)


Generously butter 2 baking sheets.


On the baking sheets, arrange the pecan halves in snowflake-shaped clusters of 5 pecans each, overlapping the nuts in the center, leaving 2 inches of space between each.


In a medium saucepan, combine 1/2 cup of the evaporated milk, the corn syrup, and sugar and bring to a boil. Add the remaining 1/2 cup evaporated milk and the 4 tablespoons butter, and cook, stirring constantly, until it reaches the soft ball stage, 240 degrees F. Stir in the vanilla and remove from the heat. Let cool to 200 degrees F.


Using a tablespoon, spoon caramel on top of each nut cluster and let harden. (If the caramel becomes too stiff to pour, return to low heat, and cook, stirring constantly, until it returns to the proper consistency.)


To make the chocolate coating, in the top of a double boiler or in a metal bowl set over barely simmering water, combine 6 ounces of the chocolate and the shortening. Melt over low heat, stirring, until it reaches 116 to 118 degrees F, or feels fairly warm but not hot to the touch.


Remove from the heat and stir in the remaining 2 ounces of chocolate. Continue stirring until the chocolate reaches 80 degrees F or feels cool to the touch. Return to low heat and cook, stirring, until the temperature rises to 85 to 87 degrees F, or feels barely cool. Remove from the heat.


Drizzle 1 tablespoon of tempered chocolate over each cluster. Set aside in a cool place to harden. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 weeks, with waxed paper separating the layers to prevent sticking.

*The recipe is courtesy of the bam-a-licious Emeril.

What Xmas treats are you guys looking forward to/making?


About violetwilliamserotica

I'm an erotica writer that spends my days camped out at coffee shops, weaving naughty tales that aren't for the faint of heart.
This entry was posted in 25 Days of XXXmas and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to XXXmas Treats

  1. This recipe sounds utterly heavenly, Vi! Also seems easy to do, I may need to try it out this weekend.

  2. books4me says:

    This looks so tasty! I normally make cranberry, pistachio biscottis w/lemon icing, peanut brittle, and rum balls (for my baby bro).

  3. symes4u says:

    “Nuthin’ says luvin’ like something from the oven.” ~The Pillsbury Doughboy TeeHee

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